Archive for September, 2023

Remembering the Week of 9-11, Part IV

September 9, 2023

Continued from last post…

Reflecting on this woman, I have decided she has a psychological problem. No one could be that focused on finding some way to cheat a store, to get away with something, to save pennies. This was another b**** from that generation just before mine—born during WWII and not after it. What happened to them? Were they born in the amniotic fluid of stress? Everything N.C. said to us came across antagonistic and sharp. (Edit: incident removed.)

This all happened 48 hours after our country was attacked for the first time ever, and we were all in shock over the tragic loss of life, while here was a woman trying to cheat someone out of their money. Somehow it seems to me that our values are askew. What is important to Americans—life as usual as trained consumers.

Monday, September 17

Yesterday, a long day at work. Dogged by the feeling that there is something more important I should be doing. Is President Bushy talking literally or figuratively about going to war against the terrorism and (that lovely term) -“evil”? I know the troops began moving almost since the beginning. He has not been passively “thinking it over.” Why do wars seem to turn up when we need them the most economically?

Would love to quit the job and concentrate on the farm, but I cannot afford to unless I get a renter. Four renter interviews with no takers. Want to hold out for a woman. The job does not belong in my life. The “trinket factory” should close in a time of war. But I am remembering Vietnam years when business went on as usual. I am sure I continued to buy things then and that my personal life was affected very little. The war was, after all, somewhere else.

Could not fall asleep for a long time last night. …This morning I am trashed and awash with feelings of depression. (Edit, whole page of personal material)

Tuesday, September 18

Our leaders keep speechifying about the American people being angry and calling for vengeance. Who? Where? The talk shows (on liberal KUNC) have aired this opinion, echoed repeatedly, that this is a “war” we should think over carefully, not jump into hastily. We are sad over the tragic bombing. We want improved anti-terrorist safety measures, not vengeance against unknown attackers where we, too, might kill innocent civilians.

The very best that has come out of this is the feeling of solidarity with all other Americans. A sense that we are all in this together, that we are all one country, even if we live in a small town isolated in the mountains what has happened in New York is a part of us. This has evolved into a simply wonderful sense of unity. The flag displays are thrilling to see. Inspiring. This is the first time in my lifetime I have ever wanted to fly the flag. For me it is not the old patriotism (“my country right or wrong”). I do not, however, own a flag.

I hope…and I am worried about this…that our flag waving does not turn into a chauvinist propaganda piece, that we don’t begin to look for the enemy within…identified as all those who aren’t waving flags or crying for war. Identified as all those whose skin color is mid-eastern.

To be continued, with a wrap-up commentary

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Remembering the Week of 9-11

September 8, 2023

September 13, 2001 continued…

More talk of war on the radio. Not a single act of retaliation, but a war. J. told me that L’s daughter, who just joined the Navy to get education benefits, had a going away party within the last couple of days before this. Apparently, troops are already being sent off, although the public is unaware of this.

My thoughts are shifting to the changes in our lives which are hinted at in being a country truly at war. We are about to enter a full-fledged war and this is a very sobering thought given our world-wide capacity to destroy all life on earth. Is this the end of my life coming up? I will record what happens. It would be wonderful to produce a book of the heroic scenes and the people’s stories from this tragic week.

Terrorist — what is a terrorist? On a radio roundtable “Today’s terrorist is tomorrow’s freedom fighter.” Many leaders (Israel and Saudi Arabia) are former terrorists. How do we “fight” terrorists, how do we wage a war on terrorism? Can you put a finger on it? I heard a quote from a Russian (and then forgot the last word). He said “We learned terrorism is not a military _________(the word conveying that military actions or methods don’t work against terrorism.) From another source: “And this terrorist attack is something altogether different—no demands were made.” Quite right…

The president is still proclaiming we are going to get them. I worry constantly about our charging blindly off to war. So we are going to kill thousands of civilians to avenge this tragedy? I despise this stupid saber rattling. There is talk on the radio of people crying for vengeance…who, where? I have not heard it. Not among my circle of friends. We are sad. We are not angry.

Music—during the first day I heard background music playing throughout the news. I was greatly disturbed. What did they think this is, a Hollywood movie?

September 14, 2001 Friday

I planted a sumac today around 12:30. I enclosed this note in a glass jar, buried under the tree:

“In memory of all those who died September 11, 2001 in the attack on the World Trade Center, all those who sacrificed their lives helping others. Planted in the hope that there will be healing for the suffering of the survivors and the people of this country, and that we will learn about strength and courage and solidarity. It is my hope that we do not seek revenge and choose hatred. War is not the answer. If there is a war, we shall all surely die. Planted this day, just after noon, a Rocky Mountain sumac, whose leaves turn red even now and drop to the ground to be renewed into life each spring. In remembrance of this sad week. September 14, 2001 Cynthia Manuel, Blue Moon Farm”

Went back to work on Thursday at 2 p.m. Bouncy popular music was playing on the radio. “Why don’t you have the news on?” I asked. “We couldn’t take it any longer, we’re tired of it.” Just great, I thought. The most important days in the history of their country during their lifetime and they want it to go away like a boring tv show. I marveled at how cheerfully A. greeted us upon her arrival, but later I realized that she was throwing herself into the minutiae of organizing kiddie stickers, and making many cash register mistakes throughout the afternoon, so that I saw how transparent was her cover-up.

On the surface it seemed all the women were more concerned with the sale of our trinkets than the fact that we might soon be at war again. Business was good that day—over $1,000. Two days after the world’s worst terrorist attack. We even had the customer from Hell.

to be continued…

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Remembering the Week of 9-11

September 7, 2023

This is Cynthia, your erstwhile host here. Can it be two years ago when I last posted on my National Diary Archive website? This week I would like to post the rest of my diary entries from the week of 9-11-2001. I will only edit non-essential writing that is about friends. I may be contacted and your comments on these entries may be sent to eclecticreaderbooks@gmail.com

Previous post – the day of September 11

September 12, 2001

We are all basically helpless to change the changes in our world. What a different place from the time I was in high school, 40 years ago. My daughter lives with the understanding that one can be shot to death at school, or that international terrorism can strike, and devastating viruses are lurking from the jungles of Africa to the jungles of American cities.

I had this counter thought: a citizen in the 1600s had Indians, bears, wolves, disease, and accidents, with no hospitals nearby to fix them up again and no insurance. They didn’t get to live as long as we do either.

W. (my renter) seems depressed this morning. Couldn’t sleep. She said the enormity of the terrorists acts is overwhelming.

This was an act of war, yet everyone is stepping around that word. Why? Because we don’t know who to accuse? If we knew who, would we go to war? My cynicism here: is it because we don’t need a war (as all wars are based on business/economic need and not religious or moral causes)? It would appear to be good timing for a war, as the economy is said to be slipping.

Have heard no news this morning. The day begins pretty.

On the news, 9 a.m. — Ok. Now they have switched to calling this an act of war. Yet they still don’t know who is behind it. The fire at the Pentagon still burns! They believe 800 people may have died there.

A car with Arabic language material has been found at the Logan airport in Boston where two of the flights originated. There was a book on flying commercial airplanes.

September 13, 2001

Flight 11 – Boston, 175 – Boston, 77 – Pentagon 190 dead

New estimate of the dead: 5,000

My only access to the news has been the radio. I have seen no papers. My tv has only one channel and it was fuzzy. I saw a blurry video of the airplane hitting the World Trade Center. It looked like a Hollywood action movie, a simulation.

They just announced the airways will be reopened at 11 a.m. today. It is a sobering reflection on the unprecedented magnitude of this event that all air traffic in the U. S. has been suspended since Tuesday morning—two full days crippling our economy and our individual lives in many ways.

The heroism and courage of those involved in this terrible event have been inspiring. The human stories are beginning to emerge. There is much talk about last minute cell phone calls from people on the planes. I don’t know the details yet. I am trying to imagine what it would be like to be on one of those planes and have just enough time for one call.

10 a.m. On the radio, a commentator remarked that it took only four hours for our attackers to shut down the most powerful nation on earth.

The most interesting story: what happened on the fourth plane that seemed to have been aborted in its attempt. Cell phone conversations lead to this scene—the passengers were planning to overthrow the hijackers, knowing they had nothing to lose, that they would die anyway. I believe they succeeded in causing the plane to crash before it reached its target.

New York, Manhattan—still a surreal landscape with smoke and dust rising from the towers. A bombed out war zone.

W. mentioned it this morning—the lack of humor about this tragedy. A commentator just said he noticed the total absence of typical New York wisecracks.

to be continued

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